“To engender a sense of freedom, lie on your back and enter into the moods of the sky.” ~ Chrissie Wildwood
The night was so hot and uncomfortable. I went outside to lie down on the grass, the soft green chest of the great mother against my back. I breathed in the dark overcast sky knowing that no Goddess kissed raindrops would fall from it. Bats flew criss-crossing through secret sky paths above me.
I could feel the tightness of fear and anxiety in my body. There are many things I’m afraid of: The shadows between the trees at night, unseen spiders in the grass, judgement and uncertainty. Some days I fear my own voice and speaking my truth too loudly. How do I speak of my healing process without ruffling feathers or bringing up the details of the past? I’m afraid that the truth will hurt certain people just as much as it will heal me and those who can learn from my traumas and my journey.
I looked up at the tree tops against the dark sky and inhaled their wildness. Their silhouettes swayed in the wind and I drew their freeing energy into the tight places of my body. Let it all go, whispered something in me. So, I tried to. I let my tension dissolve. I wanted to surrender to the night, become part of it and to free the parts of me that felt locked in shackles.
There is no fear in the wildness of things of the night, just a confident sureness, a deep trust. I must be like bats who trust whole-heartedly in their inner guidance system to navigate them through the dark. I must trust my truth and the sound of my own voice the way they trust their screeches to reverberate through the quiet air and then return to them as a sounding board. And I must shake off my fear like the wildness of dark tree silhouettes on a windy evening.
I inhaled the coolness around me and felt myself loosening up, aware of the sense of ease growing within. I remembered how in many moments the wild wisdom of the Earth has offered me refuge and insight, and I felt grateful that these glimpses of wildness have carried me beyond the fear and home to myself again. As I listened to the sky, it seemed to look back down at me and say: “Be fearless like the wild night.”