Only Peace…

All my life what I’ve craved most is peace.

Peace away from the violent conflict of my home life while growing up. Peace away from the bullies who tormented me at school. Peace away from toxic work environments and bosses that I seemed to keep attracting. The peace to breathe. The quietude to hear my own thoughts and to listen to the soft wild whispers of my heart.

It’s little wonder that was so prone to depression in my teens and early twenties. Except for when I was fortunate enough to escape to the wild comfort of Nature, peace seemed hard to come by. I didn’t know how to find it back then. It seemed rare, and fleeting and difficult to find for so long.

Although I still do fall into dark and melancholic depths when my thoughts are locked in negativity and the past, I’ve noticed something in recent months. Peace is finding its way to me more and more. I had to just take a moment to be fully aware of this fact. To notice it and to appreciate it….Peace is finding me in so many beautiful ways. Not just when I am out in Nature, but in simple moments throughout my days. And it doesn’t come when I’m searching, striving and struggling to hold on to it.

If “hope is a thing with feathers” as Emily Dickinson said, then peace is a thing that wraps its soft and delicate presence around me when I release the trying, the needing and the wanting it so much.

There is no searching in sitting by the window to watch the glistening beads of rain drip from the tree leaves. Only peace.

There is no striving when I give myself the space to read poetry or write the words embedded in my soul. Only peace.

There is no trying while brushing my hands through the yarrow, lemon verbena and rose geranium in the mornings, revelling in their fragrant beauty. Only peace.

There is no struggling in lighting tea light candles to fill my home with a warm glow on a gloomy afternoon when the sky is grey and stormy. Only peace.

There is no needing in strolling around the garden under the moonlight, breathing in the cool night air. Only peace.

Of all the lessons and blessings that I’ve uncovered over the last few years since I began more actively unshackling myself of things that don’t serve me and since I’ve devoted myself to a more spiritually inclined authentic path, learning to understand the nature of peace and what it means to me personally has been one of my most cherished lessons.

I am grateful to spend my days leaning into peace with ease, allowing it to find me in each breathe and in the simple ways of daily life.

What does peace mean to you? How do you lean into it?

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A Life full of Rain and Wild Flowers

Life feels slow and quiet these days. In the mornings, I’ve been waking up to the gentle sound of spring rain falling. A soft stillness seems to have settled on everything. The garden is wet, green and happy for having her thirst quenched after a long dry winter. The herbs are thriving and the bougainvillea is in full bloom. It’s the type of grey weather fit for staying in bed, reading and drinking loads of tea and cocoa, which is exactly what I’ve been doing. It feels good to allow myself this space and quiet time.

I’ve been enjoying bringing the gifts from the garden into my home to uplift the energy too – bougainvillea flowers, basil blossoms and twigs of cedar. Each day I find something new. I keep remembering how much I longed for this during the six years that I lived in a flat. I longed for a garden and a deeper connection with the earth. My heart ached because I felt disconnected from such a profound part of my wild essence. Now I feel so grateful and blessed to have my small garden, my little corner of the Earth to nurture my heart.

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Fresh Bougainvilleas from the garden

Cedar twigs and basil blossoms from the garden. Such uplifting blessings.
Cedar twigs and basil blossoms from the garden. Such uplifting blessings.

At night, I’ve been falling asleep listening to the soothing voice of poet Vigdis Garbarek’s The Daring Deed. It’s like manna for my soul. I discovered Garbarek’s work over on The Little Forest Flower blog. A quote of the poet’s work that Anne shared really touched something in my. Garbarek’s words are like a dreamy meditation seeping into my consciousness as I drift off to sleep at night.

Yesterday, my husband and I went walking at a nearby park, rain and all. We needed to get out for a while, breathe and take the freshness of the moist air into our bodies. It was beautiful and we stumbled upon so many stunning wild flowers. I saw some flowers that I haven’t seen since childhood, back when I’d spend hours playing in the veld and picking wild flowers. Life was so magical back then and it was just soul soothing to have rekindled that feeling on our walk.

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A thriving field of clovers dancing in the rain
I have no ideas what these are called, but they bring my such joy because they remind me of childhood. Such simple understated beauty.
I have no ideas what these are called, but they bring my such joy because they remind me of childhood. Such simple understated beauty.
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I found several Elderflower trees growing wild and free, their stunning white blossoms smelt delicious. I love the way they look, like little constellations of floral snowflakes. Picked a few for teas and elixirs.
Pretty wild yellow blossoms soaking up the moisture.
Pretty wild yellow blossoms soaking up the moisture.
Flowing reeds growing in the pond where I love to meditate and watch the moorhen and african black ducks sailing gracefully.
Flowing reeds growing in the pond where I love to meditate and watch the moorhen and african black ducks sailing gracefully.
Wild pea blossoms glistening in their post rain glow.
Wild pea blossoms glistening in their post rain glow.

Tea Crafting in the Moonlight

I am told that tonight’s full moon in Taurus highlights our need for security and home comforts. Today is therefore a time for stillness, pampering and according to mysticmamma.com – “a time to connect with the nurturing and supportive energy of Mother Earth and remember the peace that comes when we simply take a moment to breathe deeply and enter the stillness.”

I am certainly feeling the need for some quietude, rest and perhaps a walk in nature to relax my soul before tonight’s full moon ceremony.

Last full moon, I sat in the garden under the glow of Grandmother Moon. A candle flickered beside me while I tied together five sticks to craft a pentagram. I imagined streams of moon beams and Goddess love being woven into this little creation as I put it together. The inspiration to make one came about because several months before I had a dream about walking in a forest collecting sticks and fallen twigs to make a pentagram with. So when my husband and I escaped to a wood cabin on the edge of a forest in July, I collected fallen sticks from the forest floor when we went for daily walks. I’d been holding on to them for a while, waiting for the right moment to make it. That moment seemed to arrive last month as the Blood moon rose against the night sky.

It felt good and somehow familiar, as though a piece of my timeless soul was reconnecting with a forgotten place or time. As a result, I’ve decided to find ways to include similar creative activities that allow me to waeve threads of wildness, sacredness and my intuitive feminine essence into my full moon ceremony.

So tonight, in addition to releasing blocks and examining my ideas of what security, feeling safe and being supported means to me, I’ll be tea crafting, making new batches moon energy infused soul soothing blends, mixing together black tea leaves and dried herbs from the garden. Taking inspiration from Lindsay Luna of Danmala Tea, also I’ll be making to make a tea mandala in addition to my usual tea meditation ritual. I loved what she shared in her Tea Mandala ebook and am looking forward to trying my hand at crafting my own. The tea enthusiast in me feels fed when exploring daily tea rituals and meditations in new ways.

How are you observing the full moon?

Wishing you love, light and mystery with whatever you do.

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