How to Surrender Your Fear

“To engender a sense of freedom, lie on your back and enter into the moods of the sky.” ~ Chrissie Wildwood

The night was so hot and uncomfortable. I went outside to lie down on the grass, the soft green chest of the great mother against my back. I breathed in the dark overcast sky knowing that no Goddess kissed raindrops would fall from it. Bats flew, criss-crossing through secret sky paths above me.

I could feel the tightness of fear and anxiety in my body and the many things that I’m afraid of rising to the surface: Judgement and uncertainty. The fear that I may never overcome the challenges of PCOS or carry a pregnancy to term, despite my efforts to heal and balance my body or nurture my spirit. And also those debilitating moments when I’m so consumed by anxiety that I cannot do simple things that come naturally to everyone around me. Fear has a sneaky way of convincing us that only dead ends lie ahead, even when that’s the furthest thing from the truth.

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I looked up at the tree tops against the dark sky and inhaled their wildness. Their silhouettes swayed in the wind and I drew their freeing energy into the tight places of my body. Let it all go, whispered something in me. So, I tried to. I let my tension dissolve. I wanted to surrender to the night, to become part of it and to free the parts of me that felt locked in shackles. I needed to embrace my fear, surrender to the flow of love regardless, trusting that it would guide me forward to a more nurturing and positive truth. As Gabby Bernstein’s puts it so perfectly in The Universe Has Your Back, “By embracing my fear and surrendering my desire to be free, an even greater pathway to freedom is opened up to me.”

I realised that there is no fear in the wildness of things of the night, just a confident sureness, a deep Trust. So, I recognised that must be like bats who trust whole-heartedly in their inner guidance system to navigate them through the dark. I must trust my truth and the sound of my own voice the way they trust their screeches to reverberate through the quiet air and then return to them as a sounding board. And I must shake off my fear like the wildness of dark tree silhouettes on a windy evening and guide myself back to the confident space of love, trust and hope for new possibilities.

I inhaled the coolness around me and felt myself loosening up, aware of the sense of ease growing within. I remembered how in many difficult moments, surrendering to energy of the Earth and trusting in the Universe offered me refuge and insight, and I felt grateful that these glimpses of wildness have carried me beyond the fear and home to myself again. As I listened to the sky, it seemed to look back down at me and say: “Surrender…Be fearless like the wild night.”

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“The practice that will serve your highest good is the practice of surrendering to the love of the Universe.” ~ Gabrielle Bernstein

Meditation for Surrender: Centre yourself with a few deep breaths. Relax your body and clear your mind. What fears are unsettling you right now? What is causing you anxiety? Take note of what comes up and then set the intention to surrender these fears and anxiety to the Universe. Let it all go. Visualise everything being released from your body, from you mind and your soul as you surrender and let go. Feel the tension melting way more and more as you release. Now think about the more positive thoughts and feelings that you would like to cultivate within yourself. What are they? How do you want to feel? Allow yourself to continue to surrender your fears and replace them with more nurturing beliefs that bring your peace of mind, calmness and joy.

Affirmation: I surrender my fear to the Universe. I choose a loving perspective that serves my highest good instead. I choose to think good thoughts that nurture my soul and help me connect to feelings of deeper peace.

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A Heart-Centred Pause to Honour Your Essence

Waning Moon.  A Time to Exhale and Release.

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Sisters, gentle hearted, fierce and wild.

I ask you to carve out a few moments to be at peace with yourself today. And within that, just a moment to stand in front of a mirror, look deep into your own eyes and to bear witness to your profound essence.

See yourself completely, from a place of gentleness and love.

Cast aside the lenses of judgement, discontentment, self-criticism and shame. Empty out the cacophony of thoughts, the mental load, the weight of life’s demands on your shoulders and just breathe for a moment.

Honour yourself. Honour all that you embody, heart and soul, the wholeness of your inner light, your strength, your power and your courage to show up in the world even when it feels as though the odds are stacked against you.

Place your hand over your heart space and send loving light and gratitude inward. You are worthy. You are whole. You are enough. You deserve this moment for yourself. Breathe it in, lean into it and then exhale and let all else out.  Let go, release and  surrender.

“We are not responsible for what our eyes are seeing. We are responsible for how we perceive what we are seeing.”

~ Gabrielle Bernstein

The Beauty in Broken Pieces

(*Note: Something I wrote several months ago when I visited the seaside)

I’ve been searching for shells since we got here. I’d imagined that I’d find beautiful shells, lovely smoothed pebbles and silky grey driftwood just like the ones I usually find at other beaches, but instead there have been very few in sight. All I’ve found has been broken bits of seashells, tiny and smoothed.

At first I was disappointed. Then this evening I wondered…What if this is what the grand wise ocean wants me to receive right now? What if these tiny bits of seashell are a mirror of the broken bits of wildness that the great mother is returning to me – fragments of a shattered whole that needs to be put back together?

We search for beauty in wholeness, but there is beauty in broken fragments too, and the treasure in these pieces is the journey we walk when we slowly glue them back together. Maybe what we piece back together doesn’t become a perfect picture of what the original once was. But then again, maybe the point isn’t to recreate that and instead it is to find new ways to put together something new – a mosaic of wild shell pieces that represent a new way of being.

Brokenness brings growth and evolution, so when we patch ourselves back together, then it is important to allow the skins of our souls to take new form and become what it is now, not what it was once was. Not who we are told she should be.

This is how we heal. This is how we grow.

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