Tag: fertility journey

Create Your Own “Soul Therapy Box” for TTC Self Care

Soul Therapy Box.

A little space for you to retreat to when you need some extra love.

Fill it with gentle things to comfort, ground and restore your soul on those difficult days when life feels so hard.

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How do you keep breathing through your hardest moments?

You know those days, the ones where you’re feeling triggered, where anxiety runs high and your heart is heavy with grief and longing? Those days where the stress of trying is taking toll on your tired body and you don’t know how to stay strong, positive or hopeful anymore?

Are you able to meet yourself with kindness?

You often tend to be hardest on yourself during those sticky moments when you’re plagued by feelings of inadequacy and are slipping slowly into the depths of despair. Yet, that is the very instance when you need to soften, breathe deeper and lean into the mothering energy of the inner nurturer.

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In my last blog post, I wrote about identifying your restorers – the soothing things that you can reach for when you are feeling depleted. Building on that foundation, a ‘soul therapy box’ is simple idea that serves a similar purpose since it is a self-care tool you can turn to when you’re in need of comfort and restoration.

I keep exploring different ways to integrate *TTC self-care rituals into daily life. I feel that this sort of practice is an integral part of creating balanced in our lives and restoring some semblance of harmony within. Emotional/mental distress is a very real by-product of a difficult (and sometimes traumatic) fertility journey, so having the right kind of support is important (both professionally and personally). It’s just as important to create supportive tools and healing strategies for ourselves in order to cope better. That means creating space to show up for YOU when you’re in a place of vulnerability, space to nurture yourself and to offer your inner self the balm it needs when the going gets tough. This is exactly what keeping a ‘soul therapy box’ has allowed me to do for myself. I’ll add that I recently created boxes for a few of my soul sisters who have experiencing a lot of stress lately as well. I was really moved by their overwhelming feedback, because it reinforced just how effective a self-care tool the simple act of keeping a ‘soul therapy box’, ‘care package’ or ‘rescue me kit’ is. In a small way it lessened their mental load, gave each of them permission to carve out more space to tend to/restore their well-being and inspired them to keep cultivating a daily practice of self-love. It really has reminded me once more, not to underestimate the profound impact that taking little steps to be there for yourself can have.

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What to include in your Soul Therapy Box:

You can include anything that you find calming, grounding and that helps bring you back to your centre. Here are some ideas of what works well for me:

  • Rescue Remedy (Bach Flower Essences) – I always think of flower essences as a gentle hug for my heart
  • Calming Essential Oils (Lavender – for relaxing baths, Geranium + Chamomile for my oil burner)
  • Soothing Tea (brewing a pot and taking a moment to breathe as I sip a cup is a therapeutic forms of meditation)
  • Gentle crystals to meditate with/calm my mind
  • A Love Letter/Pep talk to Myself (I found some beautiful botanical print cards to write some love letters to myself in. Think of all the encouraging things you’d say to one of your TTC sisters going through similar to what you are right now, then write all of that down in a heartfelt love letter to yourself. Write down everything you love about yourself + everything you have to feel proud of so that it fills you with good vibes/happy feelings when you read it in your time of need.)
  • Bath oils + Facial masks + Skin care treats for a little bit of pampering 
  • A Mini-Gratitude Journal – It’s so helpful to shift your attention to all the wonderful things that are already in your life when you’re feeling a little low. 
  • Remember to keep refilling your soul therapy box so that you continue to enjoy a nurturing routine that supports your well-being.

I added some nice chocolates to the boxes that I made for my friends (though not to mine since I’m trying to manage my PCOS/hormones/Insulin). So the idea is to find whatever will work best for you, whatever helps lift your spirit and restore your inner resources. When your self-care is a regular practice, then you begin to offset the effects of prolonged stress and distress that could otherwise become overwhelming. And while there are so many factors that are outside of your control, it feels empowering to know that you can take mindful actions to guide yourself back a place of balance in small but nurturing ways.

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Have you tried this out? What other supportive routines/daily rituals do you turn to nurture your well-being while TTC? Please share your experiences and ideas in the comments (or use the hashtag – #ttcselfcare on Instagram. 

 

[ *TTC – Trying to Conceive ]

How to Surrender Your Fear

“To engender a sense of freedom, lie on your back and enter into the moods of the sky.” ~ Chrissie Wildwood

The night was so hot and uncomfortable. I went outside to lie down on the grass, the soft green chest of the great mother against my back. I breathed in the dark overcast sky knowing that no Goddess kissed raindrops would fall from it. Bats flew, criss-crossing through secret sky paths above me.

I could feel the tightness of fear and anxiety in my body and the many things that I’m afraid of rising to the surface: Judgement and uncertainty. The fear that I may never overcome the challenges of PCOS or carry a pregnancy to term, despite my efforts to heal and balance my body or nurture my spirit. And also those debilitating moments when I’m so consumed by anxiety that I cannot do simple things that come naturally to everyone around me. Fear has a sneaky way of convincing us that only dead ends lie ahead, even when that’s the furthest thing from the truth.

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I looked up at the tree tops against the dark sky and inhaled their wildness. Their silhouettes swayed in the wind and I drew their freeing energy into the tight places of my body. Let it all go, whispered something in me. So, I tried to. I let my tension dissolve. I wanted to surrender to the night, to become part of it and to free the parts of me that felt locked in shackles. I needed to embrace my fear, surrender to the flow of love regardless, trusting that it would guide me forward to a more nurturing and positive truth. As Gabby Bernstein’s puts it so perfectly in The Universe Has Your Back, “By embracing my fear and surrendering my desire to be free, an even greater pathway to freedom is opened up to me.”

I realised that there is no fear in the wildness of things of the night, just a confident sureness, a deep Trust. So, I recognised that must be like bats who trust whole-heartedly in their inner guidance system to navigate them through the dark. I must trust my truth and the sound of my own voice the way they trust their screeches to reverberate through the quiet air and then return to them as a sounding board. And I must shake off my fear like the wildness of dark tree silhouettes on a windy evening and guide myself back to the confident space of love, trust and hope for new possibilities.

I inhaled the coolness around me and felt myself loosening up, aware of the sense of ease growing within. I remembered how in many difficult moments, surrendering to energy of the Earth and trusting in the Universe offered me refuge and insight, and I felt grateful that these glimpses of wildness have carried me beyond the fear and home to myself again. As I listened to the sky, it seemed to look back down at me and say: “Surrender…Be fearless like the wild night.”

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“The practice that will serve your highest good is the practice of surrendering to the love of the Universe.” ~ Gabrielle Bernstein

Meditation for Surrender: Centre yourself with a few deep breaths. Relax your body and clear your mind. What fears are unsettling you right now? What is causing you anxiety? Take note of what comes up and then set the intention to surrender these fears and anxiety to the Universe. Let it all go. Visualise everything being released from your body, from you mind and your soul as you surrender and let go. Feel the tension melting way more and more as you release. Now think about the more positive thoughts and feelings that you would like to cultivate within yourself. What are they? How do you want to feel? Allow yourself to continue to surrender your fears and replace them with more nurturing beliefs that bring your peace of mind, calmness and joy.

Affirmation: I surrender my fear to the Universe. I choose a loving perspective that serves my highest good instead. I choose to think good thoughts that nurture my soul and help me connect to feelings of deeper peace.

(*Revised/Recycled Post)

Candlelight Breakfasts: A Morning Ritual to Nurture Your Relationship

W A X I N G   M O O N

Water your heart’s seeds with hope.

Nurture what you love.

How else will the important things flourish?

 

Morning rituals are so sacred. They set the tone for the rest of the day, which is exactly why I cherish our candlelight breakfasts.

Each morning, we light candles at our little dining table and sit down to breakfast together, a touch of romance to something ordinary. The thing I hold dearest in my heart is that this simple morning ritual has become a foundation that fosters togetherness so that we move through the rest of the day feeling more connected to one another and grounded in love.

Dealing with fertility issues and overcoming the devastation of miscarriages aren’t the easiest experiences to get to grips with. It comes with a lot of stress and emotional turmoil that can put strain on your marriage. So, in the face of our reality, my husband and I have had to consciously explore pathways for connection and look at how to create a supportive environment in which our love and marriage can continue to thrive despite challenges. Our candlelight breakfast is just one of the things we’ve incorporated into our daily lives to serve those intentions. It’s created the space for us to slow down and check in with one another before the day’s demands take hold.

As part of our morning ritual – between the usual fruit, smoothies, oats, muesli and tea – we do a gratitude practice together, counting our blessings and sharing what we are grateful for. We set our intentions for the week/the day, discussing our core desires, goals and visions. Something I consider very significant is that we make a point of asking the question – How can I support you? We didn’t always know how to ask for support or express our needs, especially in the early days. Learning to do so has taught us to take better care of ourselves and of each other. Keeping the lines of communication open is key in any relationship and knowing how to support each other (whether soothing one another’s pain, sharing chores, offering inspiration or celebrating joys and successes) helps to cement your bond.

This morning ritual offers us the opportunity to be present, connect, communicate and nurture our relationship. It’s been a daily practise for 7 months now, one that I still look forward to every day. I take comfort seeing my husband leave for work in a happy and grounded space and in knowing that I feel that way too. The dynamics of our lives will change when we eventually do have our babies. We won’t always have the same calmness, or the luxury of time. But when that changes, I have no doubt that we will continue to foster new pathways for connection and find our way back to one another.

I recognise that there are no perfect lives. No perfect relationships or marriages. But there are happy ones. Challenges always arise. It’s a natural part of life. The real test, however, is in how we choose to navigate our way through them. And the effect of those choices determines whether two people walk the path together in a healthy and supportive relationship or not. I’m so grateful that my partner in crime is a gentle, wise, loving and understanding soul who has made even the toughest paths so easy to walk together.

Do you feel supported? How to you nurture your relationship?