What Are Your Restorers?

What restores you? What brings you back to wholeness when you are utterly depleted?

A warm bath with rose petals
A steaming cup of chai tea
The therapy of watching the rain from your window
Reading beautiful poetry
Dappled light dancing on your face
The romance of stargazing from the porch on balmy evening

Your restorers are simple things, soothing things. They are things that rebuild your tired body and mend your soul. They are gentle healing touchstones that resuscitate your inner life. They say that ‘desperate times call for desperate measures’, which makes it easy to reach for the destructive things that could send you further down a spiral of negativity. But, do you know how to reach out for the things that restore your balance or refuel your inner juices instead?

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What do you turn to at the end of a long day?

A hug

A heartfelt conversation with a friend
A healing crystal

Dancing to your favourite song

A vase of flowers on your night stand
Beautiful soft cotton linen
Lavender under your pillow

The more I explore conversations with women around self-love, self-care and depletion (especially during times of extreme emotional turmoil), the more I see how we don’t create space for the sacred ceremony of restoration. Instead, we wait until we reach the messy edge of quiet desperation, a place that all too familiar. A sentiment constantly reinforced is that there are so many things that demand our energy. We are the givers, lending our hands and hearts to those who need us. We are the hard workers, pouring everything we have into the beauty we wish to create. We lose ourselves in the process. We forget to nurture ourselves back to fullness and so we run dry. But why should it take takes reaching breaking point to heed your soul’s call or for you to remember to breathe easy, be gentle, nurture and restore so that the chambers of your heart fill up with the energy, light and inspiration your need to keep going?

If there is one profound lesson that reaching back to life from the edge of burnout, of dealing with lost pregnancies and those taxing moments midst of my fertility journey has taught me, it’s that  – I need to be my own nurturer. Sometimes, it’s harder to choose what serves my well-being over what will cause more harm, because those bumps in the road can become excuses for all the wrong things (overindulging in sugar, not exercising, not meditating, relinquishing important commitments, etc). This understanding inspires me keep asking questions about how I allow moments for restoration daily in order to nurture my well-being and where I can integrate self-care rituals so that they become a natural part of my life that continues to raise my vibration or keep me both spiritually and emotionally grounded.

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I’ve found these two questions are powerful anchors that guide me back to myself and I encourage you to explore them for yourself too:

What is the most healing or nurturing thing I can do for myself right now? and What restores me?

Take stock of whatever your restorers are. Remember them, write them down and keep them close to your heart. Make room for them at the end of each day. They will serve you. They will heal you. They bring you back to life when you are on the brink of falling apart. And if you do fall apart, because sometimes you need to, they are the balm that will piece your fragmented soul back together.

 

My Year of Answered Prayers

New Moon greetings!

The world was magic this morning. Although the sky was clear and blue when I woke up, the trees still glistened with diamonds, residue from yesterday’s rain. I lay in my bed for a while, just watching the quiet garden through the window. A cool breeze flowed in, making the sheer curtains dance to its slow soothing rhythm. In a time of drought and El Nino, I had to take some long deep moments to just savour this scene. I don’t know when it will come again.

I’ve been in a space of reflection, allowing and dreaming for the last couple of weeks. A bout of illness that kept in bed during the days building up to the New Year made sure that I stuck to my intention of a slow and centred start to 2016. The dormant phase was necessary because in it’s wake I’ve felt myself rising hopeful, focused and ready to move forward, and especially now with the new lunar cycle.

I searched long and hard for the words that will guide me through 2016 and the energy I want to draw to myself. In the end, it was “Answered Prayers” that settled into my chest and tugged at my heart strings. Last year, my words were “Wild Mother”, words that stimulated a profound shift in my life and that drew me out of my comfort zone in so many ways. I’ve been in awe at how some of the desires I’ve held for so long have manifested in the last year (I’ll explore this more in another post). I feel I owe these blessings to the powerful creative feminine force of the Wild Mother energy. But it also brought with it an emptiness and an acute awareness of the one missing thing in my life – the child I wish to carry, birth and mother.   

So, a few weeks back I found myself at risk of falling into the trap of counting the unfulfilled dreams and desires in my life. Infertility has a way of taking you to those places. I know it all too well. It’s a road that only leads to depression and feelings of being forsaken. It’s a path I’m not willing to walk because it will only advance a swift descend down an already sinking spiral.

That said, as I evaluated the space I was in and contemplated what I want to feel this year, I knew I needed something that would steer me away from the potential danger of being stuck in a place of lack. When I stumbled upon the words “Answered Prayers” they seemed to fit snugly into my emptiness. I saw the words in three different places in a space of a few hours – a sign speaking directly to my heart.

There are three things that made them feel right for me. In order for prayers to be answered, I need to pray. I need to be in communion with Spirit, with Goddess. I like that these words keep me centred in relationship with sacredness and remind me to make space for divine intervention to work magic in my life too. Secondly, I have to ask myself: What am I’m praying for? This question calls me to be intentional, specific and to offer prayers from an authentic place. It requires me to focus on what I want to manifest, feel and experience, not what I don’t want. Meditating on answered prayers also draws my attention to my blessings and what I am grateful for. Gratitude is a deeply healing tool as I’m sure you already know. It’s a touchstone I really need at the centre of my life right now. Starting January off working through Rhonda Byrnes, The Magic, is helping me do precisely that, to be immersed in the vibration of gratitude.

So this is my Year of Answered Prayers.

Do you choose words of focus or mantras for the year? What are your words?  

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To Those Who Wish to be…

…Wild Mothers.

A few months ago, I came across a piece called Oneness, an excerpt from The Tao of Motherhood (by Vimala McClure and Sue Patton Thoele).

 It says:

“You and your child come from

One and journey toward One.

You are essentially the same.”

Reading it moved me, shifted my perspective and got me wondering – what if my child is already with me, in oneness, and not separate from my experience in the way I perceive it? Isn’t that how we manifest things metaphysically – by visualising them as real to draw them closer to us?

It says:

 “The bond is oneness, and cannot be broken.”

I copied it into my journal to keep it close to my heart. And when I read it, I say a prayer for the wisdom to release illusions of separation from my child and for the strength to focus instead on being united in oneness. This renews my hope and gives me the sense that my child is coming soon.

It says:

“When doubt and uncertainty arise,

return to this simple truth.

Be in oneness, and the illusion of separateness dies.

Be still and allow unity to be returned.”

(Click here to read the full excerpt on Oneness)

Happy Mother’s day to you all. And to those who wish to be – I pray that the Goddess blesses you with the child that you dream of.

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