Three Soulful Ways to Nurture Your Relationship While TTC

Do you ever crave groundings moment to just pause, to start over and to breathe fresh energy into your life and into your relationship with your spouse?

The various levels of stress and emotional turmoil that come with trying to conceive are likely to put strain on your relationship at one point or another. At such times, nurturing your connection could be the furthest thing from your mind, especially when feel that you’re doing your best to hold yourself together with not much energy to offer anyone else. However, it’s important to find a middle ground. Difficult though it may be to establish a healthy balance, I’ve learnt that it’s necessary to work at creating a supportive environment in which your love and marriage can continue to thrive despite the testing travails that you may be living through together. Keeping the doors to connection and communication open is vital part of that.

Couple relaxing with glass of warm wine on winter evening

What I’ve come to understand through my own journey is that both the state of my wellbeing and the stability of my marriage form the foundation of the family that my husband and I are trying to create. I constantly ask myself – What kind of foundation do I want my future babies to have? What kind of relationship model with we provide for our children? What steps do we both need to take in order to cultivate that? Approaching this sort of inquiry together allows you to understand how to keep cultivating a sense of wholeness and balance both within yourself and within your relationship as a couple.

Creating opportunities to reconnect with your partner and nurture your bond with one another is different for everyone. What does it look like for you? Simple ways to have care-free fun together, quiet moments for a gentle heart-to-heart, romantic dates or outings that you can both enjoy, a weekend trip to somewhere relaxing so that you and your partner can refuel your souls. Perhaps it’s an opportunity to be spontaneous, and remind yourselves what it’s like to let your hair down a little. It needn’t be a matter of grand gestures, and intimacy doesn’t always have to be sexual, it can be gentle, soulful and sensual. So, do whatever feels simple, authentic and meaningful for you. Whatever makes you both feel cared for, heard and supported. Investigate what reignites passion and will allow you to keep strengthening you bond.

The following are three ideas you can draw inspiration from:

Candlelight Breakfasts: Candlelight breakfasts are a beautiful morning ritual that brings a touch of romance to the ordinary and offers you the opportunity to be present, connect, communicate and nurture your relationship.

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The idea is to light candles at your little dining table and sit down to breakfast together for a slow and soulful start to your day. Set your intentions for the day or the week. Discuss what you’re grateful for, as well as your core desires, goals and visions. And then ask one another – How can I support you? Express how you are feeling, what you need to feel more supported and listen to what kind of support your partner needs from you.

This simple morning ritual can become a foundation that fosters togetherness so that you move through the rest of the day feeling more connected to one another and grounded in love.

Bedtime Poetry Sessions: Get a collection of love poetry. Choose one or two evenings that work best for you. When you go to bed on those nights, take turns to each read one of your favourite love poems to one another.

bedroom with bed and christmas garland at home

Share what you love about the poem. Discuss the themes, the lines that move you and emotions their words stir in you. Explore new poems together each week and remember to keep it light and love-filled. Not everyone is able to express what they feel, so poetry is a great way to share the things that you may be unable to say.

If poetry is not your thing, then substitute it with beautiful love songs that will help you connect deeper with one another. 

Sensual Massage: Massage can be a soothing and pleasurable sensual experience. It’s a great way to encourage intimacy. Set aside some quiet time to be together. Play gentle music. Light some candles. If you have an aromatherapy diffuser or oil burner, then scents like ylang ylang and rose are said to be aphrodisiac aromas that stimulate a seductive air. Have some warming sensual oils on hand, get comfortable and then take turns giving and receiving massages to one another. Take deep breaths, release your tension, enjoy the sensual touch and the chance to nurture a physical connection with your partner.

Therapist pouring massage oil at spa

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Devise Your TTC Soul-Care Plan

Taking care of your Self – mind, body and soul – is vital to your overall wellbeing and fertility, especially on those rough days when you’re plagued by feelings overwhelming sadness, frustration, inadequacy and tend to be hard on yourself. I keep learning that those are the days when you need self-compassion, kindness and to be gentle with yourself more than anything.  In anticipation of those challenging days where you may feel stressed out, anxious or out of sorts for one reason or another, having a plan to guide you back to a place of calm could be a worthwhile effort that helps you rescue yourself.

In devising your soul-care plan to support you through the difficult moments of your TTC journey, it is worth asking yourself questions such as – What anchors me when my soul craves restoration or inner harmony? What calms my mind and helps you to release your stress and anxiety?  

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Worksheet from the Soulful Fertility Creative Journaling Bundle

The idea is to assess the things and experiences that offer you grounding, stillness, peace and inner healing, then investigate how you can integrate them into your daily experience as often as possible as you go about creating a soul-care plan for yourself.

The following are few ideas that you can draw from if you need a little guidance or inspiration:  

 The Calming Power of Breath Work: The quickest way back to presence is to focus on your breath. The rhythm of your breath is calming. It draws your attention away from distractions and back into the moment. At any moment when you become self-aware during an overwhelming moment, breathe deeply and allow yourself to be.

Meditation for Inner Calm: Like breath work, meditation is another gateway out of a cluttered mind and into a state of peace and serenity. The more you create space between your thoughts, the more you connect with your intuition and find comfort in the present moment.

Setting aside some quiet time to meditate for between 10 to 30 minutes a day can have a significantly calming and healing effect on you. There are various different types of meditations you can use – ones to de-stress and relax, to aid better sleep, to balance your chakras or to let go of worry or negativity.

If you are not experienced with meditation, then start by listening to guided audio ones. There are loads of free meditations available on YouTube and the ‘Calm’ app is also a fantastic stress release and meditation tool.

holiday calm (3)

Do You Set Intentions to Support Your TTC Journey?

The New Moon gifts you a fresh start and an opportunity to plant new seeds for the things you want draw into your experience over the lunar cycle of the next month. This is a great time to reflect, dream and set intentions.

Do you set intentions for your feminine wellness or your fertility journey? Take some time to think about the intentions you could set to support your fertility and your overall wellbeing on your path to parenthood.

How can you nourish your body? How can you nurture your soul?
What kinds of feelings or experiences would you like to cultivate more of?
Which dreams or personal goals and visions would you like to pour energy into in the meantime?  

When it come having a baby, there are so many factor outside of our control. It can be overwhelming, frustrating and all-consuming at times. Sometimes it’s empowering to turn your attention to the things that you can control, and intention setting is a helpful way to do so.

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