All my life what I’ve craved most is peace.
Peace away from the violent conflict of my home life while growing up. Peace away from the bullies who tormented me at school. Peace away from toxic work environments and bosses that I seemed to keep attracting. The peace to breathe. The quietude to hear my own thoughts and to listen to the soft wild whispers of my heart.
It’s little wonder that was so prone to depression in my teens and early twenties. Except for when I was fortunate enough to escape to the wild comfort of Nature, peace seemed hard to come by. I didn’t know how to find it back then. It seemed rare, and fleeting and difficult to find for so long.
Although I still do fall into dark and melancholic depths when my thoughts are locked in negativity and the past, I’ve noticed something in recent months. Peace is finding its way to me more and more. I had to just take a moment to be fully aware of this fact. To notice it and to appreciate it….Peace is finding me in so many beautiful ways. Not just when I am out in Nature, but in simple moments throughout my days. And it doesn’t come when I’m searching, striving and struggling to hold on to it.
If “hope is a thing with feathers” as Emily Dickinson said, then peace is a thing that wraps its soft and delicate presence around me when I release the trying, the needing and the wanting it so much.
There is no searching in sitting by the window to watch the glistening beads of rain drip from the tree leaves. Only peace.
There is no striving when I give myself the space to read poetry or write the words embedded in my soul. Only peace.
There is no trying while brushing my hands through the yarrow, lemon verbena and rose geranium in the mornings, revelling in their fragrant beauty. Only peace.
There is no struggling in lighting tea light candles to fill my home with a warm glow on a gloomy afternoon when the sky is grey and stormy. Only peace.
There is no needing in strolling around the garden under the moonlight, breathing in the cool night air. Only peace.
Of all the lessons and blessings that I’ve uncovered over the last few years since I began more actively unshackling myself of things that don’t serve me and since I’ve devoted myself to a more spiritually inclined authentic path, learning to understand the nature of peace and what it means to me personally has been one of my most cherished lessons.
I am grateful to spend my days leaning into peace with ease, allowing it to find me in each breathe and in the simple ways of daily life.
What does peace mean to you? How do you lean into it?